Thursday, April 21, 2011
Lifelike
Lifelike...
For all those years I was slowly becoming less and less. I have written about my illness before and really don't feel up to doing it again here because I feel so distanced from it now. The meat of it was I almost bled to death. Again, it was slowly happening to me and with life you keep moving, so I didn't have a Uh-oh moment. It's life, you keep going. Until you're stopped.
I was.
Big time. And God saved me. Ask anyone around and they will tell there is no other explanation for me being here. You know something is up when you are in the emergency room and everyone is looking at you like your a ghost! Everyone involved knows it was God. I have been beyond thankful to God for all the wonderful people He has put in my life and keeping me here to show them how wonderful they are. And to let me be here for my kids is something I could never put into words. It's hard to even type this.
I want to go away from that for a bit and touch on something that few have experienced - what it feels like to almost die. Unless you have felt the life leaving you, you will never understand. You can be told and have sympathy for that person, but you can never, and hopefully never will, know what that person feels now...dealing with it.
I don't know how others have dealt with it, all I know is how I am. It does totally mess with your head. You look at things so different, not just the "not letting things get to me" scenario or the "appreciate life" one. It's deeper and scarier. At least for me it is. I know what can happen in a second. Have I become someone filled with "living every moment to it's fullest?" A little. Do I appreciate life more? No. I always appreciated all I had and still do.
What I do feel a loss about is during that time when I was sick, I wasn't all there, the way I like to be.
But now I am.
~I am sorry if I don't reply quickly to email, phone, text, Facebook, Twitter, etc. If I don't, it is not personal towards you. It's that I am BEING there for my kiddos. I am doing things with them that my illness prevented me from doing.
~We have a private school for home schoolers which I love, but with my illness I haven't been as involved as I like, and I am sorry for that. I appreciate the patience and prayers from the families through all of this. It means a lot to me.
~My husband has been the hero. He works full time, goes to college - full time, and takes care of the school business in what time he has left! And I cannot express my love and gratitude to him enough...
I have many friends that have become family. They have helped tremendously! You know who you are and you are so loved!!! It is because of you that I write this. This is to tell you that I have noticed and appreciated your kindness, love and most of all, humor, through it all. Please don't stop!
Lifelike is what I was...was.
Friday, February 4, 2011
~Beautiful~
It's been so beautiful lately. Weather wise and family wise. Even, yes even, with all of us in different stages of the flu, we are enjoying very beautiful family moments.
We are a homeschooling family in our next chapter. We have two children, one son, 18, in his 2nd semester in college and one daughter, 13, technically in the 7th grade doing 9th grade work. We are watching our children enter into exciting times in their lives and it is beautiful. I was scared at first...the closer it got to our son turning 18 and graduating. I have always taught him...my days always included educating him and then our daughter with him.
Our relationship has changed with him and our daughter. It had too. They are older. And as anxious as I was about it, it is wonderful. I absolutely loved all the stages my kids have gone through. But, this stage...this older stage...is more peaceful. I could probably analyze it and pinpoint tons of reasons for it, but I'm not going to. It just is and I am thankful for it.
They are so involved in everything about life now, not just observing. Wow! It is incredibly breathtaking to see them together. Their conversations, inside jokes and their laughter...their laughter has always melted my heart. We have an absolute blast together! When the four of us plan something, we know something crazy will happen and it usually does. We might help it along...
Don't be afraid of your kids growing older. Enjoy every moment, every stage, every second. When you get to the scary times, breathe, pray & trust God. He has them. Enjoy their steps, all of them. Especially the scary ones because that's when they become stronger and so do you. You'll turn that corner and wonder what in the world were you ever worried about!!!
We all grow older older - doesn't mean we have to quit being goof-balls. That never goes away! We can be stupid together and that is usually our funnest times. And when your kids get older...they provide soooo much more laughing material than you could ever imagine!!!
Example:
Pictures below are evidence.
Location: Downtown Disney in the Walt Disney World Resort complex.
Reason: To celebrate said daughter's 13th birthday. The main stage had a dance competition. Said kids scorffed their Ghirardelli's ice cream and ran to said stage. Dancing then commenced...and so did many tears of laughter.
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| The try-outs begin~put through rigorous dances... |
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| Do I really need to say anything here other than part of the blurriness is me laughing? |
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| They started playing "Single Ladies". 'Nuff said... |
They didn't win...you never win when there are cute little humans flashing smiles at the crowd. But, they did get a lot of fans. Mainly because they were a brother/sister team.
~Beautiful~
Thursday, February 3, 2011
13, Definitely 13
She is definitely 13, not 15, not 10, 13 years old.
These pics are just some of her gifts that scream "13" to me.
These pics are just some of her gifts that scream "13" to me.
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| The way she eats~1900 Park Fare at the Grand Floridian WDW with Cinderella and Friends~ |
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| The way she is still a little creeped out by "guys"~ |
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| The way she likes to play princess~ |
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| The way she goes with the flow, even when she's not so sure... |
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| The way she knows how to have fun~ |
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| And have a total blast~ |
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| The way the air is just sweeter around her~ |
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| The way she appreciates what is given to her~ |
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| The way she has her own style~ |
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| Most of all...the way she cares for others more than herself~ Her personal project to help other girls: www.operationbeautiful.com |
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Great Day
Today my son gave me the best compliment ever. He is in his 2nd semester at college and likes it so far, but not as much as he liked being homeschooled! He said he learned so much more from me than all his professors combined!!! And he really likes his professors - nothing against them, they are good. He even said my assignments were tougher and made him think more. YES!!! Thank you God for guiding me and holding me. And please continue to be with me for the next few years I have with our daughter.
Homeschooling is not just about teaching reading, writing, etc. It's about enabling the child to teach themselves. To gain a lifelong love of learning. All of which is wonderful. But, the most important thing of all is the relationship you and your child receive from the time and events shared. You have achieved something huge, together.
I love the fact my kids can have meaningful conversations with not just their peers, but all ages. They can bring something to the table. They have manners and I am comfortable sending them out in the world. They are not leeching from society, but being a source of light and help.
We started our private school for home educators, York Christian Academy, mainly for that reason. To give parents the choice of being in the driver's seat for their child's education. They are children, developing, continually being molded. They need a voice of reason in all of noise around them. Parents are suppose to be that voice. They want you to be there for them.
This doesn't mean we are done. Oh no, no, no. We are forever learning and enjoying all the new experiences God gives us!
Homeschooling is not just about teaching reading, writing, etc. It's about enabling the child to teach themselves. To gain a lifelong love of learning. All of which is wonderful. But, the most important thing of all is the relationship you and your child receive from the time and events shared. You have achieved something huge, together.
I love the fact my kids can have meaningful conversations with not just their peers, but all ages. They can bring something to the table. They have manners and I am comfortable sending them out in the world. They are not leeching from society, but being a source of light and help.
We started our private school for home educators, York Christian Academy, mainly for that reason. To give parents the choice of being in the driver's seat for their child's education. They are children, developing, continually being molded. They need a voice of reason in all of noise around them. Parents are suppose to be that voice. They want you to be there for them.
This doesn't mean we are done. Oh no, no, no. We are forever learning and enjoying all the new experiences God gives us!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thankfully
I haven't been able to post a lot lately because of everyone here being a bunch of sickies - except for me...so far...(my fingers crossed & borrowed others ;). That and when we are finally at home, I can't seem to get to the computer. I could probably post from my phone, but I've been lazy about that.
I have been enjoying just being a mum. A mum without an illness. I had been sick for so many years that I had learned to deal with it and function. Never wanting to think about all that I could be doing. I couldn't think that way, but now I can. I know all that I missed and I am not letting anything go now. I am happy and proud to stay home with my kids. I am blessed to have them.
This past year has been such an awakening to how much we can endure and not just trudge through but thrive. My bad days now are nothing in comparison and I thank God for healing me. When things seem overwhelming, they're not. I know God has my back, always. I am thankful I have the opportunities to ride bikes, go to the rink, the beach, theme parks, anywhere and everywhere, with my family & friends. And I am thankful to go through all the trials with my family and friends. I pray that I am a help and not a burden.
"But I trust in your Grace,
my heart rejoices as You bring me to safety.
I will sing to ADONAI, because He gives me
even more than I need."
Psalms 13:5 & 6
So tonight, finally home after being at the rink for 5 hours, ate dinner, took showers and did some school, my daughter is recovering from her flu stuff, son is in the middle of his and hubby is passed out in the bed with the start of his. Me? I am fighting to keep all the bad, snot-nosed, hacking, nasty cooties away from me!!!
...I have too many things to do and the list is growing...thankfully,
Praise God!
I have been enjoying just being a mum. A mum without an illness. I had been sick for so many years that I had learned to deal with it and function. Never wanting to think about all that I could be doing. I couldn't think that way, but now I can. I know all that I missed and I am not letting anything go now. I am happy and proud to stay home with my kids. I am blessed to have them.
This past year has been such an awakening to how much we can endure and not just trudge through but thrive. My bad days now are nothing in comparison and I thank God for healing me. When things seem overwhelming, they're not. I know God has my back, always. I am thankful I have the opportunities to ride bikes, go to the rink, the beach, theme parks, anywhere and everywhere, with my family & friends. And I am thankful to go through all the trials with my family and friends. I pray that I am a help and not a burden.
"But I trust in your Grace,
my heart rejoices as You bring me to safety.
I will sing to ADONAI, because He gives me
even more than I need."
Psalms 13:5 & 6
So tonight, finally home after being at the rink for 5 hours, ate dinner, took showers and did some school, my daughter is recovering from her flu stuff, son is in the middle of his and hubby is passed out in the bed with the start of his. Me? I am fighting to keep all the bad, snot-nosed, hacking, nasty cooties away from me!!!
...I have too many things to do and the list is growing...thankfully,
Praise God!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Short-Timing It
That's what my hubster calls it. We are short-timing it until a major part of our lives comes back to us. He's in his last months of getting his degree and we are feeling it. Between working full-time & attending school full-time, there's not a lot of "hubby/daddy" time left. We are looking forward to Daddy having all this "free" time!!!
Right now, we are still trudging through it. Our son is back in college for his 2nd semester and loving it. (That helps this homeschool mum~he has a love for learning. =) I am getting use to not having him here during the day...kind of. Those of us with older kids understands how much you rely on them. You really notice these things when they're not there - when you can't reach that bowl...you know...that one...W - A - Y up...t h e r e... "Where's my Long-Arms???" The other is when you want to hear their voice and you know have to wait. Sigh...
So, for most of our day it's me and my girlie. It's her first time to not have her Bubi doing school with her. She keeps saying how weird it is. This is a girl who has demanded to do "school" since she was sitting up! She would sit next to her Bubi and want her school stuff...could hardly talk yet, but she was going to write her name! He misses her too and he makes time for her. It's really nice to have him teaching her ASL (American Sign Language) and they have skating/hockey lessons together.
Through all of this, please remember to keep us in your prayers. We're walking where we feel God wants us and it's not always the easiest, but we know that when we fall, God catches us! And Mum here is trying to keep everyone and everything in order and on track...praying for patience, insight, wisdom and endurance!
Right now, we are still trudging through it. Our son is back in college for his 2nd semester and loving it. (That helps this homeschool mum~he has a love for learning. =) I am getting use to not having him here during the day...kind of. Those of us with older kids understands how much you rely on them. You really notice these things when they're not there - when you can't reach that bowl...you know...that one...W - A - Y up...t h e r e... "Where's my Long-Arms???" The other is when you want to hear their voice and you know have to wait. Sigh...
So, for most of our day it's me and my girlie. It's her first time to not have her Bubi doing school with her. She keeps saying how weird it is. This is a girl who has demanded to do "school" since she was sitting up! She would sit next to her Bubi and want her school stuff...could hardly talk yet, but she was going to write her name! He misses her too and he makes time for her. It's really nice to have him teaching her ASL (American Sign Language) and they have skating/hockey lessons together.
Through all of this, please remember to keep us in your prayers. We're walking where we feel God wants us and it's not always the easiest, but we know that when we fall, God catches us! And Mum here is trying to keep everyone and everything in order and on track...praying for patience, insight, wisdom and endurance!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy Birthday!!!
Friday, January 7, 13 years ago, we were blessed with a beautiful addition to our family. Our daughter was born! She could not have come to a more ecstatic mum, dad and big brother. We are still celebrating her!!!
Our kids get birthday weeks, not just a day. And this has been my Jel-Bel's. She is ready for her Promise bracelet and special dinner. She remembers when we did a similar event with our son. Now, it's her turn. This age is such an important time and I am already teary-eyed! ;) We always need prayer, but I think we really need it for our teens. The world wants to consume and it's our job as parents to help them on their journey into adulthood. Freaky...saying my little girl is going into adulthood, but she is and I'm so much cooler about it than I thought would be. Thank you God! I am seriously more thankful than I can express. I worried about these days...my kids getting older. But, I am about as giddy as she is!
We have done a few things already, but this weekend is the big stuff:
Our kids get birthday weeks, not just a day. And this has been my Jel-Bel's. She is ready for her Promise bracelet and special dinner. She remembers when we did a similar event with our son. Now, it's her turn. This age is such an important time and I am already teary-eyed! ;) We always need prayer, but I think we really need it for our teens. The world wants to consume and it's our job as parents to help them on their journey into adulthood. Freaky...saying my little girl is going into adulthood, but she is and I'm so much cooler about it than I thought would be. Thank you God! I am seriously more thankful than I can express. I worried about these days...my kids getting older. But, I am about as giddy as she is!
We have done a few things already, but this weekend is the big stuff:
- Family party and dinner Friday~
- Gathering at Downtown Disney Saturday night~
- Sunday is Animal Kingdom, then dinner at Chef Mickey's~
- Next weekend - TBA~
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